Most of the pains we experinece, mentally as well as physically, are painful only because we so define them. Think of them as sensations, merely, or events, and you'll find that you can bear them relatively easily.
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Regardless of how people treat you, determine your response by the criteion of inner freedom.
How they behave is their business; how you respond is your own. Supposing, then, that someone that you feel freer when you give love?
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To overcome a judgemental tendency in yourself observe others who are themseleves afflicted with that tendency. They judge because they are distrustful of others as well as of themselves. And what they distrust most of all is originality. Their first question in any situation is, "What is proper? what is done?" Their vision is narrow beacuase the route they travel is a rut..