Top 5 Toughest questions for men

The 5 toughest questions for men are:

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly ( i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”)

Question 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Oh Yeah,
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?

Question 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I’ve seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d. Define pretty..
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question.

(The real answer, of course, is “Buy a Corvette!”)

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Smile Please !

I never kiss
I never miss
I never neck
I never think
I never drink
I am only six
I am always in fix
I am a game
Everyone says the same
I am a fool
I am never cool
I am rich
But it doesn't itch
I am happy
I am always feeling sleepy
If you're good
Come down I would............

<(^.^)>

There's way to stop drinking,
I'm sure you can't beat it:
Just take all your liquor
And freeze it and eat it!

<(^.^)>

Ah, When you whisper, 'George, I love you,"
How my heart begins to thrill,
And when you snuggle close and say it--
I forget my name is Bill.

<(^.^)>

The lady came from Lisbane,
She said, "Let's do it again,
And again and again,
And again and again,
And again and again,
And again and again and again and again and again---

<(^.^)>

There was a student named Ginker,
The town's biggest drinker,
His knowledge was small,
Almost nothing at all,
Today he's the top and head brinker.


<(^.^)>

There was an old man of key west
When had numerous spots on his vest,
He said : " I don't think
That many were ink,
But those that were wine are the best."
<(^.^)> <(^.^)>

Funny Poems

(^_^)

I crept upstairs, my shoes in hand,
Just as the morning took wing;
And I saw my wife, four steps above,
Doing the same darned thing.

(^_^)

I always love my wife;
Like an apple loves a knife.
But she never prepares a good breakfast;
And I always depend on slice.

(^_^)




My husband was a good man;
He always remaind with me and never ran --
But one day I came to know;
That he will not love me again.

(^_^)

The cutie who wears a wollen stocking
Need never give her door a locking
But the cutie who choses other makes
Gets all the runs and all the breaks.

(^_^)

The boy Stood On the burning deck
Upon his face a frown
"Twas hot to stand upon the deck,
But Twas hotter sitting down...